She’s on your stage and even if she’s absent, she’s still there. In physical form or spirit, she’s in your script — she plays a part.
Rarely is she perfect, she is usually flawed. If she appears perfect, that can be equally challenging.
You look at her, you walk around her with a critical eye and then you stand back and you decide, “I’ll never be like her.”
You are very sure, you’ll be better.
We call her; Mother.
Recently I viewed a film. I shall share a portion of the story.
A Mother Dorothea. A Daughter Latisha, A Granddaughter Desiree. These are the names, I have given them.
Dorothea is a mother. She is also a drug addict and often abandons her children to seek out her habit. Her children are alone.
Latisha, the daughter grows to develop her own trade in the drug market and makes a living from it. Clothes, a place to live, food. But eventually she gets caught and charged with drug trafficking. She has a daughter, Desiree, and now behind bars, she too has abandoned her daughter to the choice of drugs.
She was not going to be like her mother, Dorothea. She would be better, she would provide for her child, she would not leave her child frightened, but she did.
When we compete – deciding, I will not be you – declaring, I will be better. We must attract the same challenges. We must find ourselves in similar circumstances, in order to achieve our goal.
When we do, we find that life has not presented us with the opportunity to win. It offers us the opportunity to grow, to learn from someone who may appear to have nothing worthwhile to share.
Dorothea attempted to escape from her life and chose drugs. Latisha wanted a better life and chose to escape her life. She too, chose drugs.
Now Dorothea (the mother) chose to become clean and when Latisha (the daughter) went to prison, Dorothea would be there for Desiree (the grand daughter). There to do her hair, feed her, get her off to school, make sure she learned to ride a bike, that there was laughter and love and a bed at night to dream in. She was not there for her daughter. And now because her daughter was not there, she said, “Yes,” to the chance to be there for her granddaughter.
Latisha eventually returned home from prison. As Latisha gave her mother a second chance to be a mother, by being a grandmother. Desiree is giving Latisha a chance to be a mother.
No competing.
Simply learning from each other.
Having compassion for the flaws.
Loving her for who she is and what she has to share.
We call her Mother.
Photos by; Kara May Photography