Rogers, Gas, Passports and The Farmers Market

Rogers, Gas, Passports and The Farmers Market

Stress, frustrations, anger. There has been a growing appearance that tempers are short, confusion has heightened, fear is everywhere. Conversations that begin with, “Have you noticed lately…?” It doesn’t seem to take much, as there is much that is happening. Friday July 8th Rogers experiences an outage and you know the rest. A day of inconvenience. For some slight and for others far greater. I tend to continue on and allow for the experience of the day. Ran an errand and paid cash. Chose to postpone getting gas as no internet meant I’d forfeit points. Points means a lot these days when it either provides a discount in gas or money towards groceries. Saturday life had returned to being able to connect and communicate for the most part.  Depositing an E-Transfer remained a problem, so off I went for gas. Of course the price had jumped from $1.76 to $1.82.  But I have a CAA membership which gives a discount at Shell stations. I pump my gas, go inside and the attendant informs me that although it is Shell gas, they are not a Shell gas station. Translates into, no discount.  I pay, knowing better for the next time.  I think how all of these situations can test ones ability to remain in a good space. Now I head for the Kitchener Market and the annoyance begins to subside, as on route the man who dresses as Elvis and walks the streets of the city passed in front of me while I waited for the light to change. He’s still here. I smile for him. I park my car,...
Before the After

Before the After

Before we get sick, we do know something is amiss. We’re tired, a little achy, just off. That’s when you allow for some rest over pushing through. You reach for some extra vitamin C, take your zinc, the ghastly tasting oil of oregano. I prefer colloidal silver, much more pleasant. More often than not, we don’t choose the “Before.” We receive the whisper that something is on the way and we shrug it off, we push it aside. We wait till we are down and out. Full of snot and aching, can’t sleep, no energy. Not wanting to do anything, but lay on the couch and watch Netflix.  The “After” the whatever has arrived is too late. The “Before” is when you can turn it all around. The “Before” works when you listen and you choose to do. It requires a pause, a slowing down and acting on the whisper. When your body is screaming because you made a different choice, well, it’s time to be honest with yourself that you knew, but you ignored. I enjoy tulips. A friend was visiting and shared that if you took a pin and put a hole through the stem just below the bud it would revive the drooping tulip. I gave it a try. The tulips that had already drooped, did not spring back. The tulips that were beginning to droop, revived. I choose to treat myself as a tulip.  When I start to droop, I act. Because I’d rather watch Netflix sitting upright than moaning, “Someone please save me from this misery.” The “Before,” can turn it around. The “After,”...
Mae, You’re Up To Bat!

Mae, You’re Up To Bat!

Mae has chosen to play baseball.  A new experience. Mae does not like to be observed while doing something. Mae does not perform on command. This could pose a challenge. The idea of placing her foot on a base, that already has the foot of a boy on it, another obstacle. In spite of the initial challenges, each game she stretches herself and with one game at a time there is progress. Batting has proven to be interesting. She strikes out and it is not the least bit concerning to her. What does concern her is that when she does hit the ball and runs to first base. What then? “What do I do next?” “And when I get to third base, what then? What do I do?” “I’m confused.” Her coach reassures her not to worry. “You just hit that ball Mae and you run to first base. After that we’ll tell you what to do.” For Mae, this is not an answer. She has flat out said she is confused as to what to do when she gets to third base. She strikes out again. I think about this while driving home after praying for Mae to hit that damn ball and run. I visualize, I cheer. But no. No hit. No sound of a ball connecting with a bat. Just Mae confirming that she wants to know what to do after she hits the ball and gets to first base. The what then, is blocking her from literally going forward. I think about me. I think about my own plans and how I know what I...
Tangerine Dream

Tangerine Dream

“My car is Tangerine Dream. I like to drive fast. I’m ninety-two. I don’t moan, I do my exercises. No one sees me without my makeup. It’s the first thing I do every day. I am in my last days and my daughter Lyn is taking lessons. She doesn’t wear makeup. This is why she needs to learn how I like it when I can no longer do it for myself.” Kathleen was ninety-three when she passed. I met her in 1998, she was seventy. Our first conversation at the age of seventy was about releasing what was holding her back. Our last conversation at the age of ninety-two was about releasing, to prepare for going forward. When Kathleen took up the quest to wake up, many feel it is too late. Many decide that it is time to coast, to just let it all be. ‘Let sleeping dogs lie,’ has been the expression. Not Kathleen. She knew she had issues. She knew that on some level there were things that needed attention. She was scared, but she didn’t allow her fear to get the better of her. Kathleen’s background was not about looking into matters that made you sad or angry or confused. She was from the “stiff upper lip,” “no airing your dirty laundry,” “be thankful for what you have,” “what will people think?” generation. You didn’t delve, you didn’t upset, you didn’t dare speak out or up. You did keep quiet, you did keep up appearances, you did do what you were conditioned to believe, was the right thing. But in truth, this conditioning is never...
It’s Not A Competition

It’s Not A Competition

She’s on your stage and even if she’s absent, she’s still there. In physical form or spirit, she’s in your script — she plays a part. Rarely is she perfect, she is usually flawed. If she appears perfect, that can be equally challenging. You look at her, you walk around her with a critical eye and then you stand back and you  decide, “I’ll never be like her.” You are very sure, you’ll be better. We call her; Mother. Recently I viewed a film. I shall share a portion of the story. A Mother Dorothea. A Daughter Latisha, A Granddaughter Desiree. These are the names, I have given them. Dorothea is a mother. She is also a drug addict and often abandons her children to seek out her habit. Her children are alone.  Latisha, the daughter grows to develop her own trade in the drug market and makes a living from it. Clothes, a place to live, food. But eventually she gets caught and charged with drug trafficking. She has a daughter, Desiree, and now behind bars, she too has abandoned her daughter to the choice of drugs. She was not going to be like her mother, Dorothea. She would be better, she would provide for her child, she would not leave her child frightened, but she did. When we compete – deciding, I will not be you – declaring, I will be better. We must attract the same challenges. We must find ourselves in similar circumstances, in order to achieve our goal. When we do, we find that life has not presented us with the opportunity to win....