Kicking the Cat is an idiom that dates back to the 19th century.
The man is humiliated by his boss. He comes home and yells at his wife. His wife slaps their child and the child kicks the household cat.
People have grown, for the most part, to know that to kick a cat is considered cruel and yet being cruel to each other is still in fashion despite all our anti bullying campaigns.
Cats have fared far better than humans.
People hurt each other and then they justify it.
I have a migrane.
I’m overtired.
I forgot to each lunch.
I have a condition.
My boss is a prick.
It’s been a bad day.
These hurting, angry souls lash out at who ever happens to be in their sights, they aim and fire with the sole intention of having someone feel worse than they feel.
I worked for a husband and wife who argued freely and often. Mr. Mender usually held the upper hand, which left Mrs. Mender looking for a cat. Often she was so desperate she would stand looking into the office waiting to hear or see something she could strike out at. Once she found what she needed, in she’d come with guns blazing. She’d attack. On days when she was feeling extra less than, whatever object was close at hand would fly through the air in my direction. Now nothing she threw ever made contact. I was able to dodge out of the way, but I also felt either her aim was bad or she didn’t intend on a bull’s eye – she just needed to feel that for a moment she had the upper hand.
One day, I decided I had had enough of the ducking and weaving from her verbally and physically. It was time to talk. Putting up with this bullying was not sending a positive message to myself.
She confided that she needed someone to take her frustration out on, because she felt that Mr. Mender always won. She came after me, because she could.
I explained to her that it had to stop. If I allowed her to treat me badly it meant that I didn’t respect myself.
Our relationship improved. Not perfect, but better. When she’d revert back, I had to remind myself that I didn’t deserve it and speak up.
The person who kicks you as if you are a cat that can do nothing but run off licking its wounds is not happy. When they attack you and you cower away, they don’t feel any better. They have to resort to finding ways to excuse their behaviour, none of which are valid.
The “kicker” in this moment is not at their best selves. They are in their most self-absorbed moment, where their misery is the most miserable. Not for one moment do they entertain that perhaps you are not experiencing the best time of your life.
So when I hear the excuses, excusing them for their behaviour, I say, “So what.” Yes, I say, “So what.”
Everyone has a story. Everyone is going through something. 
Perhaps the person being kicked is dealing with the threat of cancer, financial challenges, their child’s divorce, their divorce.
They dump their crap on someone who’s already being dumped on.
That being said, rather than give all the attention to the one kicking and what they are doing to you. Ask yourself what are you doing to you, by allowing it. Our inner self is often wondering why we dislike ourselves so much that we’ll take this abuse and not defend and support ourselves.
The other day a friend told me of something that had happened that she were very upset with. She was feeling off, not completely herself. So she shared it and from there we laughed. Every time she got bitchy we’d sing that annoying song from the film Frozen, “Let it go, let it go…” She shared what was causing her grief, she didn’t take her grief out on me.
A final word for all the “Cat Kickers;” find a can to kick and leave the cats, and the humans, be.
