Mommy, can you take that picture down, she scares me”.
“But sweetie, that lady in the picture is me – it’s Mommy. What’s so scary?’
“She looks so sad.”

“Sharon, when I asked you to send me some photo’s – well, these are nice, but…”
“But what Dad?”
“Well, you look so sad.”

“Sarah thanks so much for the invite. It’s nice to get together outside of the kids – Brownies and Theatre Camp. It feels good to just be women, to talk and laugh”.
“It’s good to see you happy – you look so different now.”
“How’s that?”
“Before… you always looked so sad.”

“Hi Mom.”
“Hi Sweetie, what’s up?”
“I was looking through my photo albums and came across one of yours. Must have got mixed up in the move.”
“Great, I’ve been planning to get my albums up to date, when do you think you can drop it off?”
“Mom, I think you should maybe just get rid of this one.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well, you look so sad.”

I had lost my smile. Somewhere I had disappeared from me. I had withdrawn, I had let go of who I was.

A dear friend, Diane, looked me in the eye, “Sharon, this isn’t you – I don’t know what happened to you, but this isn’t you”.

I went searching and there she was. In my primary school photos and she was smiling. She had dimples. Sad people don’t have dimples. I had dimples.

I went to work. Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman became my mentor and whenever I looked in a mirror I channelled Julia. Eventually I could just be me, my face had remembered how to smile. How to be “happy.” It felt good.

“Now breathe, release your jaw, soften your eyes and smile, and move back into Downward Dog.”

And all is well.

The café was silent and the customers were writing on a steno pad. She took the pad and entered the information into the cash register and wrote the order on the coffee cup. She was deaf. And then she smiled.

And the wait, didn’t seem so long.

Our eyes met, two strangers – getting through the day. More accurately; rushing through the day. She smiled and I smiled back.

And I relaxed.

Forty three muscles to frown. Seventeen to smile.
Our muscles say it all – it’s just easier to smile.

I breathe, my jaw drops, I soften my eyes and I smile.
And there he is, my grandson Sam smiling back

I’ve found myself
May he always hang on to exactly who he is.

Embrace ease. Honour the smile.