Mae, You’re Up To Bat!

Mae, You’re Up To Bat!

Mae has chosen to play baseball.  A new experience. Mae does not like to be observed while doing something. Mae does not perform on command. This could pose a challenge. The idea of placing her foot on a base, that already has the foot of a boy on it, another obstacle. In spite of the initial challenges, each game she stretches herself and with one game at a time there is progress. Batting has proven to be interesting. She strikes out and it is not the least bit concerning to her. What does concern her is that when she does hit the ball and runs to first base. What then? “What do I do next?” “And when I get to third base, what then? What do I do?” “I’m confused.” Her coach reassures her not to worry. “You just hit that ball Mae and you run to first base. After that we’ll tell you what to do.” For Mae, this is not an answer. She has flat out said she is confused as to what to do when she gets to third base. She strikes out again. I think about this while driving home after praying for Mae to hit that damn ball and run. I visualize, I cheer. But no. No hit. No sound of a ball connecting with a bat. Just Mae confirming that she wants to know what to do after she hits the ball and gets to first base. The what then, is blocking her from literally going forward. I think about me. I think about my own plans and how I know what I...
Do You Really Want Crazy?

Do You Really Want Crazy?

The first time I woke up was when I read the word “Choice.”  I felt excited, I had been handed this amazing wonder. I was filled with an energy I didn’t know; but I wanted to. I came from the world of; “This is your lot in Life.” “This is the hand you’ve been dealt” “You made your bed, now lay in it.” But this concept of Choice rang true inside of me. This word was like my prince charming had kissed me and woke me from the spell of misery. I then stumbled into, “You Create Your Reality.” Life said I was a Streisand (as in Barbra). I could envision, write, direct and star in my story. I didn’t need to wait for permission, I could simply choose to do this. We are Creators. We have the power to Create the Reality of our Choice. Today when I hear, “The world’s gone crazy.” I see posts on social media where the message is one of slamming an opposing view. I hear of families and friends dividing because they disagree. I’m told that being different is not accepted, we have to be the same and do the same or we are a threat. Someone screams, “Go back to where you came from!” Power and money are more important than peace and people. Where confusion and distraction appear to reign. Fear, afraid of so much. Illness, inflation, war, the climate, each other. And then I stop. I ask myself, “What do I want to choose and then create?” And I know, I don’t want crazy.  I don’t want the taking...
Release The Heavy Heart

Release The Heavy Heart

“I am so blessed, Life is so good to me. I’ve not been the best father, but my  children are still nice to me.” I’m sitting waiting to go into a treatment where my body has been telling me I’m far overdo for some deep releasing. This man enters my reality and as he is leaving, these are the words he shares. I know this is for me.  So often we feel unloved. I know I have. There are times I just can’t seem to get there, to where you trust that they love you, even like you. The rejection, being told you’ve made another mistake, not measured up, not been enough. And then this man comes into my space and is so happy. Happy that in spite of his imperfections, his children are still nice to him. I smile and I instantly feel lighter.  I hear the message that perhaps I expect too much and it is time to enjoy the moments of connection and trust that this is right for right now. My children are nice to me. I have not been perfect. Can I be okay with this? Can I feel blessed? He leaves, my name is called. I do feel blessed that Life brought me this man, at this moment and shared this message. It’s time to love me, to like me and in spite of my imperfections, be nice to me. May we release our heavy hearts and feel lighter for it. Photos by; Sharon...
Can A Request Be Too Simple?

Can A Request Be Too Simple?

“Please…” (I’m big on the, “Please and Thank you,” not that it necessarily changes the results). Put your laundry in the hamper. Pick up milk on your way home.  Return my book (you’ve had it for 3 months) by the end of the week. Mail my letter. Can you give me a call. And they don’t. So you ask again and again and again;  You do the polite, “Just to remind you…” And they don’t. And then you descend. To the dark place of victim. Where you start to recite to yourself all the times they’ve made requests of you and you’ve followed through on a moments notice, at the drop of a hat, in the blink of an eye. You’ve just done it. And then you go further. Where they have wounded you. And you feel disrespected, unappreciated, not valued, not important, not a priority. But if you reveal your hurt, you sound petty. And the defence begins of how busy they are, how they tried, that they are overwhelmed,  And then silence.  The silence you receive because you are being difficult and asking “waaay” too much. I have been there many times. Recently, I spiralled fast and when you do, it’s a sign that you know better.  You know you’ve succumbed to the past. For myself it is about expecting specific people to respect me, appreciate me, value me, that I am important, that I am a priority.  In short, that I am loved. Here I am, I’ve spiralled so far down, that Life tells me I have lost my dignity. My dignity. This is tragic. I...
Sweep Away The Cobwebs

Sweep Away The Cobwebs

I am blessed with a front door that faces the east and aligns to the sunrise. When the light streams in, it reminds me to greet the day and allow the light.  How will I enjoy my light today? Where will I share my light today? Surely there is some way I can contribute. Lighten someone’s day, lighten my heart. Live true, live my light. Inspire someone to venture in the direction of their light. It doesn’t just happen. You’ve got to maintain that light of yours. Cobwebs collect when you’ve left it in the shadows, forgetting that it’s for you to take care of and value, that it’s not someone else’s responsibility. While sorting through some papers the other day, this piece fell out, reminding me to ask myself where was I at. Fearful of what others might think, of dreaming big. Of simply being me? Or am I finally at a point where I enjoy who I am and more than enjoy the skin I’m in, do I push myself to keep going forward, learning more about me. I’m not finished yet, I believe there is so much more to me that is waiting to be discovered.    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?  You are a child of God. Your ‘playing small’ doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so ...
Humour on The Cabot Trail

Humour on The Cabot Trail

I am travelling the Cabot Trail in Nova Scotia, 2008. Not an easy drive for me. Up the sides of cliffs, steep embankments is my absolute worst experience. I have never found any enjoyment out of this. To say the least, my kryptonite. We drive and we drive. And besides watching my own life flash before my eyes, I am thinking of the lifestyle of those few and far between homes I am seeing. No stores, no gas stations, nothing. Finally we land at a small variety store, that doesn’t have much variety. Outside in the parking lot are these signs. Signs reserved for specific requirements. And I laugh. I go inside and my first question is. Where do you shop? The woman behind the counter tells me they make an order for all their needs six months at a time. Everything. How much toothpaste, soap, toilet paper etc. that they will need. Especially in the winter, because they may not be going anywhere. I return to the car and I look at the signs and I laugh. Regardless of what is happening – there is always the ability – the choice, to have a sense of humour. The other day while scanning my files searching for something, I cam across these photos and once again I’m laughing at the uniqueness of this experience.  Someone designed these signs and put them in place to create laughter and imagine how many people driving the Cabot Trail, thinking how hard life is there and pulling into this convenience store, that isn’t all that convenient, to see these signs and laugh. Like...