Talk to You. Because if You Aren’t, Who Is?

Talk to You. Because if You Aren’t, Who Is?

There was a time, talking to yourself was frowned upon. Meant you had probably gone “loopy loop.”

Now, it’s called “self talk” and can be quite acceptable.

I’m sure there are boundaries. Might not be cool to go to a restaurant. Have a table for two and order for someone who is not physically there and have a conversation with them. At this point you might want to reign it in.

But seriously and more appropriately — it’s healthy. We need to talk to ourselves.

Because if we aren’t, who is?

The Ego! And our lovely egos are more often than not fuelled by fear and not speaking in our favour. It will not be the truth.

When you are feeling hurt, wronged, confused, annihilated, cast out, bullied — you need to slow it down and have a conversation.

I admit, there are times before I am in the right space to converse, I rant. I spew — chew nails and spit rust and just let all the anger and hurt out.

And then I step back and I begin the conversation with ME, just ME.

I have to be prepared to listen to Me. Because, She doesn’t always agree with Me. 

I listen, because although She may have a different point of view, a slant on my perspective, She does love me and She does want what is best for me.

I’ve heard her ask me often, is this the truth?

And I have to fess up and answer, “No,” because the ego has taken over.

There are times when my Me needs to hear a “Bravo,” “You are brilliant!” 

My Me needs Me to hear from Me that we have great moments and I notice them.

Then there are the conversations with the “You inside of You”

The child, the adolescent, the young adult, the adult, the…

I’m older so I have a fair amount of  “You’s”

You may very likely have less, don’t entertain anymore than is necessary. It could get more crowded than it needs to be.

For the most part what we’ve come here to work on or grow from presents itself in our childhood and adolescence. 

Once in adult form you need to talk to your younger self.

We are meant to grow, heal and mature and if you are really doing the work you may even obtain some wisdom.

The younger you, the inner self, needs this.

When we are triggered, hurt, angered; which remember, is always fear. We need to stop, take a breath and check in. Where is this coming from? What part of us, what age, is being effected? 

Speak to that part of you.

The part that was always told, they ruined everything.

The part of you who remembers being laughed at when you asked, “Don’t you love us anymore?” Where the answer was, “No.”

The abusive partner who threatened, threw things, hit.

You need to talk to the “You’s” inside of You.

Reassure them, that you are here for them, you love them, you’ll never leave them.

You need to ask them to trust. To have faith that you will take care of things.

Have a chat. Tell them they never ruined anything. That person was hurting and needed someone to blame. That sometimes when someone is frightened and really doesn’t know what to do, they say things they don’t mean. No one ever deserves to be abused. That you are worthy of healthy loving relationships.

Give them a hug. 

But then the “proof is in the pudding,”

Meaning you have to follow through with what you are saying.

Take their hand and go forward.

The trauma they experienced can then have the opportunity to  be diminished, even healed.

Talk to you. 

The You, you are now and the You, you were years ago.

You need to hear from you, what you’ve learned.

That you are good, that you are loving and loveable. That yes, sometimes you get a tad off track and need a gentle reminder of  what is your truth and not someone else’s pain. 

And that sometimes you are the one who was wrong and simply did not give your best. 

You get to learn and set it right.

So sometimes when you’re feeling  out of sorts, spiralling into the past or just lonely. 

Call on You. Talk to You. It’s a relationship worth having.

 

Photos; Unsplash, Man wearing toque; Andrew Neel, Woman sitting int the desert; Patrick Schneider, Woman looking up; Tachina Lee, Man in red sweater; Bruce Mars, Father and Son on dock; Kelli McClintock, Woman hugging girl; Eye for Ebony

Google: In Britain, dating back centuries, pudding meant more than a sweet dessert. … The original was the proof of the pudding is in the eating. It was shortened to the proof of the pudding, and then here in America, it morphed again to the proof is in the pudding.

—Used to say that a person can only know if something is good or bad by trying it.

2 Comments

  1. What a great message you have shared today. Thank you. I practice nonviolent communication and identify my feelings and needs and then make a request of myself. I also practiced The Compassion book and this week we are talking about identifying our feelings and needs. Talking to Ourselves. Having compassion for ourselves. The other thing I practice is internal family systems and the many parts of myself such as that child part or the teen or the adults. Great reminders thanks Sharon

    Reply
    • Hi Les,

      Always enjoy hearing from you. Hope you had a wonderful long weekend. We have certainly been blessed with great weather. Being outside, hanging out with friends, going for walks, enjoying good food and conversation – always the best.

      I love the variety of work you take part in. Its rejuvenating for us to keep growing, expanding and entertaining new perspectives.

      Self Talk allows us to stay in touch with ourselves. I have some pretty interesting conversations of getting honest and upfront with myself. Can be quite amusing at times.

      May we keep enjoying the lives we create.

      Ciao Bella!
      Sharon

      Reply

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