Don’t Hand Down The Fear

Don’t Hand Down The Fear

I was gliding around the kitchen with a floor mat fastened to my back as a cape pretending to be a queen.

Looking back on this memory, I have to admit I cringe thinking I used a kitchen mat as a cape. Must have been a temporary lapse in character, so not me. What is me, is that I was pretending to be a queen. I was never a princess. No one ever called me princess and I never took the part of a princess. Always a queen.

Now back on track we go.

And….“Smack!” My mother hits my back and there on the floor beside me lay this HUGE black crumpled up dead spider. I screamed, dropped the cape and ran. From that day forward my fear of spiders held tight.

Years later in another kitchen with another spider. I’m on a chair yelling for my mother to “KILL THE SPIDER!!”

I have a daughter now, Holly and she’s clambering to get up on the chair with me, following me lead, screaming, “KILL THE SPIDER!!”

My mother stands her ground and looks at me squarely, which means wisdom is about to impart from her lips.

“Do you see what you are doing? It’s not just you anymore. Now there’s two of you on the chair. Are you going to keep this up till you have a whole family on the chair, all afraid of the same thing?”

And that was the end of fearing the spider.

We all have fears and we can all find ways to validate them. But sometimes we need to take stock and ask ourselves what we are passing on for our children to inherit.

Fear of lack.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of not being loved.

May we pass on what will take our children forward and not hold them back perched on a chair, screaming for someone else to handle it.

Then one day the phone rings. I answer and it’s Holly. She now has a son, Sam and a home of her own.  Unknown

“Mom, there’s a mouse, Sam and I are on the couch. Can you come over and catch the mouse.”

Time for the talk.

Photos by; Cesar Carlevarino Arago and Internet Stock


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