Exhaustion is not tired.

Tired has passed. It was ignored, shrugged off.

When tired you can rally.

Have a shower.

Rest your eyes – not sleeping, just resting.

Drink water.

Balancing exercises.

Fresh air.

Convincing yourself you can do this.

It’s just one more shift, the weekend is coming, tomorrow you’re off.

It’s just a casserole for the family dinner.

It’s just a glue gun to add more sequence to a costume.

It’s just one more…

It’s just…

Tired has passed. It was ignored, shrugged off.

With, I’ll be okay, I’m fine, I can do this.

Tired was the whisper,

Exhaustion is the SCREAM.

And when EXHAUSTION hits,

There is nothing more to give.

The rally does not work.

Drained, weary, frazzled, burnt out, collapsed

Your system, your body, says, “No more!”

“You have abandoned me and now I shall abandon you.”

You feel disconnected, sick, tears are on the brink of bursting through.

You want to scream and yet there is no energy for this exertion.

And then because you have stopped listening to you, your spirit, your brain, your body, someone appears and asks you to do something for them.

Life; steps back and watches. 

What will you do?

Can  you say no?

Can you finally, love yourself enough, to honour that you are depleted?

You have nothing to give. Nothing for anyone – not even you.

What do you have to risk?

Will they be angry?

Will you feel weak?

Not enough?

Not liked?

A disappointment?

A failure?

Not loved?

Not loved?

Not loved?

You cannot move.

There is nothing.

Over extended

Overwhelmed

Over tired 

Overdue

It is meant to be this way.

So you will learn to say no, pass, pause, 

And allow for someone else, to take your place

Or perhaps, those who call on you, give them the opportunity 

To take responsibility for themselves.

No one will think less of you, when you think more of yourself.

Be good to yourself, love yourself.

But when you think less of you.

Your spirit, mind, body will think less of you, 

Will not support you.

Whew! That was exhausting, I need to lay down.

I’ll just put this laundry away and then I’ll give myself a break.

I walk through the doorway into my bedroom

And because, I AM EXHAUSTED!

I am off balance and I brush up against my door and my shirt catches on the door handle and rips.

Wow! Really?

Yes, really.

And then I laugh and shake my head at me.

I change my shirt, leave the laundry and make my way to the couch.

Days later while mending my shirt I decide to not hide the wound. I take gold embroidery thread and do a fly stitch where the rip is. The Japanese art of Kintsugi, reminding me of this lesson. 

When my system whispers, “You are tired.”

I do not need to hear the scream, “YOU ARE EXHAUSTED!”

I stop, I allow and I make my way to the couch.

I rest.

 

 

Blog Post: No Hiding, The Healing (the art of Kintsugi) January 30, 2022 

Photos: Sharon Cooke, Pexels, Ann Shvets, Girl in Yellow Dress, Pexels, Creative    

               Workshop, Bulldog