There is a personality trait that always impresses me. The composed individual that has a voice that carries a tone that speaks an energy of a calm and grounded strength. Never too loud, always clear, where in its steadiness the intended message is never mistaken. This personality is refined, always dignified, always together.

At a National Dressage Championship, the gentleman in charge was Colonel Little. I watched while he met challenge after challenge in the organizing and handling of the operations of the event. Regardless of the obstacle he never faltered. He steered contestants, judges, staff and crew through every situation.

The character Capt. Sharon Raydor of Major Crimes has this sultry, deep voice that just never seems to utter any kind of craziness or tension. She looks you straight in the eye and lulls you into giving her just what she wants to hear.

From the 1994 film Disclosure, Chief Financial Officer, Stephanie Kaplan was the one who stood back, took in the big picture, put it all together and worked calmly from behind the scenes. No force – just focused, disciplined intention.

I marvel at these personalities and often I tell myself to don the mask of Racoon Energy and go into these characters and yes there are times I am absolutely wowed with over-the-moon applause at my accomplishments.

However, more often then not, the me I attempt to subdue leaps out from behind the mask. I’m often told I’m very animated, a tad too loud and much too profound. In short it’s been said, I’m too much.

Colonel Little might agree, Capt. Sharon Raydor would surely raise an eyebrow and the Financial Officer Stephanie Kaplan might scowl and utter an “Oh no!”

But, in my defence, rarely does anyone ask me to repeat myself and I’m fairly confident that I’m not boring, perhaps exhausting, but never boring.

In my youth, I held back, kept the lid on and came close to losing myself in a shroud of nervousness, doubt and nonexistent self esteem. When I chose to grow and embrace my authentic self and release the conditioned me – this character emerged and she just doesn’t care to be reigned in and controlled.

I am an avid reader of Dr. Seuss to a young admiring group. With a pallet of emotions, facial expressions, inflections and tones, I’m jumping off the page and out of my skin, because I cannot simply tell the story – I need to entertain.

I suppose it’s true – I’m too much. But hey — my audience is happy, they cheer and ask for more.

Sometimes, the characters I admire are needed in order to accomplish a particular task. But the Sharon I am more often than not, I am now comfortable is not too much and definitely not too little. I believe she is perfectly who I am to be and therefore am. 

Photos:
Racoon in Tree, Washington Humane Society
Family of Racoons, Huffington Post
Racoon with paws together, Twitter – Emergency Racoon