Confrontation Through Conversation

Confrontation Through Conversation

People share their problems easily. They voice what bothers them, when they feel they have been slighted, treated unfairly. They give energy to the problem. But when they receive the suggestion to take their concern to the person or institution involved, more often than not, the reply is, “I can’t do that, I don’t like confrontation.” They choose to keep the problem and continue to share it with another. Over and over again sharing, fuelling the problem, not daring to undertake any kind of resolve. When I hear this, “I cant do that, I don’t like confrontation,” I ask,”Have you ever entertained shifting it from confrontation to simply initiating a conversation?” Confrontation has taken on the meaning that it is about a dispute between two people. One person goes to another with an issue and it is invariably presumed that the other must defend.  Or the person who goes in deciding they have the upper hand and they are entitled to take someone to task.  It’s not about listening, engaging in a dialogue where both parties hear the other out with the intention of coming to a mutual understanding, finding a middle ground, deciding on a solution that benefits both parties. Yet the origin of the word ‘confrontation’ comes from Medieval Latin, ‘confrontare’ to come together, to face one another. Nothing about a dispute – simply coming face to face with another. Conversation, is a talk, an engaging of information, ideas.  It is unfortunate that we have lost the ability to confront another (come face to face) in order to engage in a conversation (the sharing of  information, ideas)....
The Body Speaks, But Does It Have Your Attention?

The Body Speaks, But Does It Have Your Attention?

Social Distancing Brought us inside Not to keep us from each other Perhaps to bring us back in touch with ourselves, Where we cannot get away from what we need to get close to. What we need to face. This is how it works. We are a system of various levels. Spiritual, Emotional, Mental, Physical. Now when your system is out of balance, you don’t feel well. You are finding Life a tad too challenging. Something needs addressing.   Your higher self, the Spiritual, sends you a whisper, a nudge — prompting you to do something, pay attention, attend to what has gone amiss and right yourself. But, we brush it off like a pesky fly. And even when that fly returns over and over again, we look for something to kill it with and then feel very satisfied when we do.  That’s how we treat our Spiritual energy more often than not. But the system prevails. This time through our Emotional level.  Now we feel something. But we shrug it off. Ignore it. Stuff it down. Hide it somewhere. Somewhere, where we hope we will forget about it. But the system returns with, “Damn you, I’m not giving up!” And it comes at you through your Mental level. You think it. Your intellect attempts to connect to you. Here, you try to convince yourself. You tell yourself, “It will be okay, I can handle it, weather through, be strong.” When you want to cry, there is always that adult in your head, “Just walk it off.” “Get up, get dressed and you’ll feel better.” Once again, you dismiss,...
Will We Ever Stop Fighting?

Will We Ever Stop Fighting?

We fight. We are a species who has been fighting since the dawn of time. We fight for land, for wealth. We fight to be the last one standing. We fight to be right. We fight for our rights. We fight to win, to come out on top. We fight for Power. We fight for our Life. Some call certain fights — the good fight, because it’s felt to be for something honourable. But in truth to fight, regardless of what it is for, is to fight. To fight is an energy. And whoever, whatever we fight — must in turn fight back. Fighting begets Fighting. We fight ourselves. We take the lies others have told us and we internalize them and turn on ourselves. We go to battle. We invent fictitious battles within, where we have the right comebacks, where we are the victors and not the victims. This was my favourite. After years of criticism, belittling, abuse – I became an internal fighter. Fictitious scenarios, where I was always the victor. Until I remembered that there is this Universal Law; As within so without.  What you Radiate;  You will Attract. I decided that what I was doing was counterproductive. It took me away from what I truly wanted to attract and instead I kept running into events where I found myself having to stand up for myself, defend and go to bat (into battle) for myself. All that energy spent on an internal battle, just so I could prove to myself that I was strong and that no one would crush me again; was exhausting. Life wears...
Is Normal What We Really Want?

Is Normal What We Really Want?

Go Back to…. Go Forward to… May We Embrace The Pause to choose. What Normal was. What Normal will be. Normal may not be what we are striving for.  Normal may have been the fraud in our lives. It may never have been our truth. It may just have been something we did. A kind of, go through the motions, full of should’s and what we thought were the expectations of others. Perhaps it’s time to not just sort through the drawers in our kitchens and closets in our bedrooms. Perhaps it’s time to sort through our thoughts, patterns, routines. Our hearts. What will we let go of that was never us and what will we continue with that we’ve uncovered is our truth. Who we really are and what we really want. So rather than something we did, for others. We can now do something for ourselves which in the end, is for everyone. Where did all this normal come from? Time to visit Google. Edward Phillips in 1658 defined Normal as “done exactly to the rule, or square.”  Hmmm. Everyday we hear ourselves and others saying they don’t fit, they don’t want to fit. I hear others telling me how exhausted they are trying to fit. People get sick from living up to the expectations of fitting. People run away, so they don’t have to fit. Or they stay and hide how much they just can’t fit. Normal – comes from the Latin word normalis, describing something from a carpenters square. Something made to perfectly fit into a general pattern, where all is standard, average. Google continues;...
What Do I Give Space To?

What Do I Give Space To?

An early Saturday morn in February, I head out to accomplish some errands before the weekend rush. Number one on my list is to get gas. I pull up to the available pump, or what should have been available. However, a very bold Black Cherry Lincoln had chosen to take up two spaces. License plate, “01 WRIGHT.” Speaks for itself. No driver. I figure I can wait as they should be on their way. I wait and wait and wait. Nope, not happening. Another pump becomes available, I decide to move. Eventually the ‘two space’ driver appears and goes on their way. I’m thinking — is this the same as someone who parks in such a way to take up two spots  so no one can scratch or ding their car. Hmmm? As “01 WRIGHT” was in my reality, I decide to mulonder this. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know a mulonder is the combo of a mull and a ponder. I prefer to allow myself to start close up, low and physical before I ascend to the bigger picture, higher and enlightened.  Is this someone who figures they are important,  very important, even special? Are they self-absorbed and only concerned with them self, so much so that they don’t even realize the taking of two spaces? Okay – got that out of my system, now I start to take my ascension. This is my reality. I create my reality. The ‘two space’ person is in my face and it’s all about space. I begin asking myself the type of questions that remind you, that you are...
Shake It Out, Wash and Flip

Shake It Out, Wash and Flip

My grandmothers were avid spring cleaners. Elsie and Betty knew how to shake it out, wash and flip. An annual event that you did not go without.  Windows and walls were washed.  Furniture was moved and all was vacuumed behind and under. Rugs were hauled out to the clothes line and beaten within an inch of their life. A good time for releasing any pent up hostilities held in over the winter months.  These ladies even had winter and summer curtains. Betty had a  satiny dusty rose living room set that transformed into lime linen slipcovers. Very fashionable. Elsie, a market gardener,  who’s farmhouse undertook the huge task of the dismantling of the storm windows and doors in exchange for summer screens. Mattresses were flipped, dusting and more dusting, cobwebs vanished. Lemons and vinegar filled the air. Mr. Clean and Pine-Sol fumes — those were the days. Then for some reason younger generations got too busy, running from one thing in their calendars to the next. The seasons and what they were suited for became a blur.  After all the Swiffer was invented, just a quick ‘swiff’ and all was considered — good enough.  History refers to the Iranian Nowruz, the Persian New Year that falls on the first day of Spring to be the origin of spring cleaning. A “shaking of the house” took place. Another source is the Jewish Passover where a cleansing of the house occurred in preparation of the occasion. Likewise the Catholics clean the church alter on the Thursday before Good Friday.  During the 19th century coal furnaces created a layer of soot on...