Giving to Ourselves, We Are Better to Each Other

Giving to Ourselves, We Are Better to Each Other

Many times, I have asked; “Do you compliment yourself?”  When you look good, do something well, come up with something brilliant, extend generosity to another – do you recognize you? Do you give recognition to yourself? The response I receive is usually; silence. As if it’s a trick question. If you say yes, will you appear conceited? If you say no, does it imply you see yourself as lacking, possibly even harsher – as less than, because you can’t think of anything worth complimenting? We have these expectations that are based on the beliefs and attitudes of past generations. Which were never true, but served a purpose. It kept many people in their place. The place of being less, so more would follow and less would lead. It was considered self-serving, self-indulgent to acknowledge yourself, pat yourself on the back, give approval to yourself. You were to receive accolades only from others, from the outside.  However, energy doesn’t work this way. It works from within to without. Like energy attracts like energy. This is not new information. But few hear it and even fewer act on it. It’s not about feeling better than.  It’s about knowing you are worthy and deserving. And you will only truly believe this when you prove it by acknowledging yourself. When you give to you, you begin to see more of the good in others.  Giving to yourself, develops confidence in yourself and this grows into the strength to give the same. You notice more. You feel kindness and generosity to extend compliments and in turn recognize those around you. As you give to...
The Sky is Falling or Fall is Coming

The Sky is Falling or Fall is Coming

As I walk through the community gardens, beneath some very stately oak trees the ground is blanketed with discarded leaves and as I value the energy of the oak I stoop to pick some up and then sit with my handful of nature. As I sit the air begins to rain acorns. A new cycle is approaching. Returning home with my fallen treasures, I sit to write and enjoy a morning coffee, the trees are in chaos with energetic squirrels. Black walnuts are dropping and as much as I attempt to focus, I am met with the walnuts encased in their lime green shell rolling along my terrace and up against my feet. There is no escaping. A new season is speaking. The sky is not falling. Fall is simply coming. The air has cooled and the humidity has lifted. The odd leaf has raced ahead and changed to red. Energy in its natural flow does not simply switch on and off.  It eases into and out of. Before you come down with the cold, you feel overwhelmed, overtired. Your system  whispers to you, before it screams with sneezing , an aching body and chills. Before the ceiling collapses, a brown ring forms, perhaps a subtle drip of water and possibly a bulge in the material that holds it all together. Before you have to cut back and come to terms with overspending, you know you used your credit card more than your bank account. Before someone screams and runs out the door, you know the relationship is in jeopardy. There are so many early signs to what may...
Confrontation Through Conversation

Confrontation Through Conversation

People share their problems easily. They voice what bothers them, when they feel they have been slighted, treated unfairly. They give energy to the problem. But when they receive the suggestion to take their concern to the person or institution involved, more often than not, the reply is, “I can’t do that, I don’t like confrontation.” They choose to keep the problem and continue to share it with another. Over and over again sharing, fuelling the problem, not daring to undertake any kind of resolve. When I hear this, “I cant do that, I don’t like confrontation,” I ask,”Have you ever entertained shifting it from confrontation to simply initiating a conversation?” Confrontation has taken on the meaning that it is about a dispute between two people. One person goes to another with an issue and it is invariably presumed that the other must defend.  Or the person who goes in deciding they have the upper hand and they are entitled to take someone to task.  It’s not about listening, engaging in a dialogue where both parties hear the other out with the intention of coming to a mutual understanding, finding a middle ground, deciding on a solution that benefits both parties. Yet the origin of the word ‘confrontation’ comes from Medieval Latin, ‘confrontare’ to come together, to face one another. Nothing about a dispute – simply coming face to face with another. Conversation, is a talk, an engaging of information, ideas.  It is unfortunate that we have lost the ability to confront another (come face to face) in order to engage in a conversation (the sharing of  information, ideas)....
The Body Speaks, But Does It Have Your Attention?

The Body Speaks, But Does It Have Your Attention?

Social Distancing Brought us inside Not to keep us from each other Perhaps to bring us back in touch with ourselves, Where we cannot get away from what we need to get close to. What we need to face. This is how it works. We are a system of various levels. Spiritual, Emotional, Mental, Physical. Now when your system is out of balance, you don’t feel well. You are finding Life a tad too challenging. Something needs addressing.   Your higher self, the Spiritual, sends you a whisper, a nudge — prompting you to do something, pay attention, attend to what has gone amiss and right yourself. But, we brush it off like a pesky fly. And even when that fly returns over and over again, we look for something to kill it with and then feel very satisfied when we do.  That’s how we treat our Spiritual energy more often than not. But the system prevails. This time through our Emotional level.  Now we feel something. But we shrug it off. Ignore it. Stuff it down. Hide it somewhere. Somewhere, where we hope we will forget about it. But the system returns with, “Damn you, I’m not giving up!” And it comes at you through your Mental level. You think it. Your intellect attempts to connect to you. Here, you try to convince yourself. You tell yourself, “It will be okay, I can handle it, weather through, be strong.” When you want to cry, there is always that adult in your head, “Just walk it off.” “Get up, get dressed and you’ll feel better.” Once again, you dismiss,...
Will We Ever Stop Fighting?

Will We Ever Stop Fighting?

We fight. We are a species who has been fighting since the dawn of time. We fight for land, for wealth. We fight to be the last one standing. We fight to be right. We fight for our rights. We fight to win, to come out on top. We fight for Power. We fight for our Life. Some call certain fights — the good fight, because it’s felt to be for something honourable. But in truth to fight, regardless of what it is for, is to fight. To fight is an energy. And whoever, whatever we fight — must in turn fight back. Fighting begets Fighting. We fight ourselves. We take the lies others have told us and we internalize them and turn on ourselves. We go to battle. We invent fictitious battles within, where we have the right comebacks, where we are the victors and not the victims. This was my favourite. After years of criticism, belittling, abuse – I became an internal fighter. Fictitious scenarios, where I was always the victor. Until I remembered that there is this Universal Law; As within so without.  What you Radiate;  You will Attract. I decided that what I was doing was counterproductive. It took me away from what I truly wanted to attract and instead I kept running into events where I found myself having to stand up for myself, defend and go to bat (into battle) for myself. All that energy spent on an internal battle, just so I could prove to myself that I was strong and that no one would crush me again; was exhausting. Life wears...
Is Normal What We Really Want?

Is Normal What We Really Want?

Go Back to…. Go Forward to… May We Embrace The Pause to choose. What Normal was. What Normal will be. Normal may not be what we are striving for.  Normal may have been the fraud in our lives. It may never have been our truth. It may just have been something we did. A kind of, go through the motions, full of should’s and what we thought were the expectations of others. Perhaps it’s time to not just sort through the drawers in our kitchens and closets in our bedrooms. Perhaps it’s time to sort through our thoughts, patterns, routines. Our hearts. What will we let go of that was never us and what will we continue with that we’ve uncovered is our truth. Who we really are and what we really want. So rather than something we did, for others. We can now do something for ourselves which in the end, is for everyone. Where did all this normal come from? Time to visit Google. Edward Phillips in 1658 defined Normal as “done exactly to the rule, or square.”  Hmmm. Everyday we hear ourselves and others saying they don’t fit, they don’t want to fit. I hear others telling me how exhausted they are trying to fit. People get sick from living up to the expectations of fitting. People run away, so they don’t have to fit. Or they stay and hide how much they just can’t fit. Normal – comes from the Latin word normalis, describing something from a carpenters square. Something made to perfectly fit into a general pattern, where all is standard, average. Google continues;...