Me, Myself and…Well You Know The Rest

Me, Myself and…Well You Know The Rest

There was a time in my life where I experienced what it was to be with someone and yet very much alone. Neglected and abandoned, with the repeated message that I was not deserving of being loved. I crumbled. But, life and likewise, myself, had other plans. I rallied. I closed the door to this reality. When you start again, alone at first, I pushed myself to do things on my own. And low and behold I grew to enjoy my own company. I found out that I was not this terrible person, I had been told I was. I liked me and I  could actually have a good time with just me.  I looked in the mirror and I remembered; I have dimples. Dimples that appear when one smiles are irresistible. And even, if you don’t, there is surely something you have that is beautiful.  Now, fast forward to – 2020. Yes, I still like me. I remain to enjoy my company, I find how I think intriguing, there are moments where I applaud my brilliance. I find myself amusing and therefore entertaining. I even enjoy my cooking.  Now, there are times I’m not impressed and I tell myself that this was not one of my finer moments and thank God tomorrow is another day and I can start fresh. BUT. From March till December of this year, I have had the pleasure of my company, A LOT! Let’s face it being together with anyone 24/7 can be just that — too much.  There is no escaping me. Every day it’s Me, Myself and… Well you know the...
Cherry Pie Can Slow You Down

Cherry Pie Can Slow You Down

The act of performing well planned efficient errands to me is an art form.  I start with the Post-It Note (I so love this invention). Then I plan my route. The ultimate high is when I design one where there are only right turns, no crossing traffic – I know, very impressive. Parking, I must confess I possess no passion for this exercise. I choose a spot where I drive through, no backing up. Again a time saver. I park a distance from the store with less people to look out for when landing and during take off and the opportunity for more steps. Yes, I incorporate exercise into my errand regime. Once inside I power walk. Amazing, I love it. No dawdling, focused, with a clear intention. Covid 19 has pretty much destroyed my polished and perfected errand maneuvers. Rather than five locations, I may only attempt two to three. Then there are the arrows. Following the plan means more steps, yeah, but does take more time. When I reach an empty aisle, this is my break away and I unleash the power walk strut.  The social distancing asks you to have more patience. However, when I encounter the couple who park their cart in the middle of the aisle and each partner is on an opposite side, thus creating an aisle block, my hospitality experience comes in handy. I first bless the ‘thoughtless’ souls and then I inform them with a compassionate tone. “I’m just squeezing by you.” “I’m behind you.” “I’m coming on your left.” It brings them back to the reality that there are still...
The Place You Come From

The Place You Come From

The place you come from is important.  I’m not talking geography.  I’m talking intention.  I’m talking the energy you align to. Think about it, sit down, pour a cup of… and mullonder.*  Most importantly be honest with yourself. For the past few years I’ve been out and about stretching myself. I’ve gone on week long discoveries, retreats, attended lectures, classes. I’ve placed myself in realities that in the course of the average day I may not find myself in. I’ve met people who have strong beliefs, opinions, views, perspectives. People who advocate for others, ideas, lifestyles, to promote awareness and initiate change, supporting freedom of choice and life. I’ve come away with lots to think about.  Throughout this experience I have to say, that in amongst the information and opening myself up to change, I have heard and felt the energy of anger. So much so, I’ve needed to step away from time to time before I go back for more. It makes me ask, can you advocate for change and reap success fuelled by anger? When you are royally pissed off and you let out a primal scream of, “No More!” You do get people to sit up and take notice. But when you keep yelling and attacking, you will attract more to be angry at.  Universal Law; Like Attracts Like. And do remember that anger is Fear. And Fear is not true power. And then on a Sunday evening in September, I’m in Toronto at a club listening to Xavier Rudd from Australia and between songs he shares what he is standing for.  He wants the environment...
Embarrassing Expectations

Embarrassing Expectations

There is the conversation where you attempt to tell someone something or perhaps someone attempts to tell you something and you hear from another or yourself, “I know, I know.” When this is uttered it more often than not translates into, “Leave me be.”  We learn how to say, “No,” long before we say, “Know.” Therefore, when we are not applying what we know and someone is pointing that out, we reply with, “I know, I know.” Which, again, is, “No” in an attempt to shut them down. However, there is a phrase, “To know and not to use, is not to know.” This is where my story begins. Each week, I draw some cards, as a focus for the next seven days. This weeks Permission card, read; “I give myself permission to be embarrassed.” I don’t feel, I embarrass easily, as I generally come clean when I make an error. I may feel bad, perhaps foolish, but embarrassed. Hmmm, not sure? One thing about the drawing of cards is that what you receive may take a bit for the light to come on. The other thing is that you will receive what you need and not necessarily what you want. I had been in the doldrums for a while and as much as I felt I was trying to shake it off and shift, I was slipping right back into my slump. Monday arrived and I drew the card “Permission to be Embarrassed.” Needless to say, not what I wanted. By Tuesday, I got it, and yes I allowed myself to be embarrassed. I had allowed myself to...
That Annoying Noise in My Car

That Annoying Noise in My Car

I have this noise in my car. Not always. There is a certain pattern and then there isn’t. I took it to my mechanic Jorge, who is amazing and we did a test drive. Of course; nothing! He tells me to tape the noise. “Okay,” I reply, I can do this. Not easy, when the fines for distracted driving are quite the threat and to add to the challenge, I can’t do anything on my cell phone without my  readers (as in glasses, that I don’t wear all the time). Yes, I’m over forty, okay, I’m over fifty, but I’m not the “old lady” that my darling (not so darling at times) grand children call me. Wait till Christmas and then they’ll think twice as to what they call me!! Ha Ha, the old lady (which I’m not) still has the upper hand! I have to admit that I may have shared too much with Jorge. I told him that the noise was so loud and as I was concerned that my car might break down, I started affirming for the best, in short praying. Low and behold it stopped. Jorge took my sharing in stride. I think. Jorge did his best, worked on my car and felt he had  taken care of the noise. But he hadn’t and by the time I’d returned home it was there again.  A few days later I’m out with my son, Cody,  and by the end of our excursion my car sounded the ‘noise’. The next day Cody sent me a Facebook message. The photo of a woman driving her car with...
Three Bagels

Three Bagels

Christmas Eve morning and I’ve set off to begin my day. I’d planned to stop at a City Cafe for wood fired bagels. Just three, as a treat (along with the many other treats) for over the holidays. I open the door to the bakery and the place is crammed with bodies. I scoot around to the far side where there is a pocket of space to get to the box that holds the bagels and then I realize all these people are in line for bagels and the box is empty. Back I go to take my place in line with empty brown bag in hand. Where my original choice begins to wobble. I only wanted three, is it really worth it? And then I hear from myself, “Yes it is, just wait.” The room is warm from the open oven, the smell of fresh bread, flour misting through the air, the radio playing a choir singing Christmas carols fills the space that is left and everyone waits patiently. For a moment from observing those ahead of me who are already sporting full bags, I think, “Bagel Hoarders.” And then I hear from myself, “It doesn’t matter.” And it doesn’t. We will all get what we need, in due time. I remain to stand and take it in. The woman making the bagels appears oblivious to the throngs of bagel lovers standing with open bags, watching her every move, monitoring her. Is she good at what she does, is she fast enough, how does she know when they are done, there’s no timer going off, is she doing...